Friday, September 21, 2012

Why I Suck At Being A Mom...

As a stay-at-home-mom who has made very few friends in my new home state, most of my "social life" exists within the world of Facebook or within local play groups. As a follower of many parenting and mommy pages, quite often I find myself measuring myself up to these "supermoms" who accomplish more in a couple of hours than I do in a day...sometimes in a week.

Then there are those posts that cause all out "mommy wars" on topics such as breastfeeding, circumcision, religion, vaccinations, and all other parenting choices and beliefs. On blogs, message boards, and groups that are supposed to be welcoming and embracing the joys of motherhood, comments are being made passing judgement on complete strangers (sometimes even family and friends too) that are littered with hateful name calling and cursing.

Come to find out, the "crunchy mom", "non-crunchy", "Christian", "Atheist", or even "mindful" mommy groups are not free from judgement, and at times impose some type of standards. I have been kicked out and even banned from groups due to my views on certain subjects, even if I was carrying on a civil conversation without finger-pointing or judgement.

A recent photo posted on a Facebook page by a blogger that I frequently follow, Life With Levi, sparked such an uproar. What was meant to be an encouraging post, ended pretty ugly.

Here was that picture...

In response, I decided to join her and many other moms in confessing my "shortcomings" as a parent.

So, here is a little bit about me as a mom :

I just used the word "suck" in the title of this post.

Sometimes meals are an hour or two late.

I did not breastfeed exclusively, so both of my boys were (gasp) supplemented with formula, even though I was and currently am a stay-at-home-mom.

I have applied temporary tattoos on my boy's skin, even as babies.

I could not allow my babies to cry themselves to sleep...but not all of the time.

I do not believe that I can EVER hold my babies too much.

I did not baby-wear my first child and have only started to wear my second at two years of age.

Both of my boys have slept in cribs like "caged animals".

I did not have a natural birth.

My boys drink both almond milk and cow's milk.

I feed them organic, antibiotic free food as much as possible.

My kids also eat pizza, mac n' cheese, and peanut butter and jelly.

Sometimes my boys wear "sposies" (aka disposable diapers) when cloth seems a little inconvenient.

Although I have mixed feelings about vaccinations, my boys have had some but not all.

I let them chose what clothes to wear, many times "Leettle" opts for superhero costumes or a cape with a fisher hat and mis-matched gloves.

My husband and I love to take our kids hiking, even when they were a couple months old.

I walk my children to the grocery store (you would not believe how many nasty comments
I have received from this and from the comment directly above...)

I made my boys baby food so they did not have to ingest any unnecessary pesticides.

I prefer use paraben-free and toxin-free bath products with my kids...but I would be lying if I said that they had never had a bath with Johnson's & Johnson's.

There are days when we stay in our pajamas until 5pm, only to replace them with another pair.

There are also days when they run around the house in nothing but a diaper.

Sometimes my voice is a little louder than it should be.

I used to sanitize the heck out of everything and frequently wash my kids hands, but my views have changed greatly.

I do not mind taking them out for frozen yogurt or buying them a bag of M&M's every once in a while.

There are many days when things are so hectic, that I break down and cry in front of my children.

My house can be mistaken as a war zone...everyday.

Not all of my boys cloth diapers are WAHM or USA made.

I do not apply sunscreen or bug repellent to their skin. I prefer to make it myself.

I procrastinate on laundry duty to dance and sing along to John Mayer with my boys.

I let the dishes pile in the sink so I can read my children another story.

My boys have episodes of Leap Frog, Blue's Clues, Yo Gabba Gabba, Dora (yes, Dora and not Diego...), Curious George, and The Electric Company memorized.

Sometimes a trip to the zoo does not seem complete without a cup of Sam Adams...for me of course...

My living room, family room, and couches display artistic ball point pen masterpieces from my 2 year old.

I may say something that I regret, but it is quickly replaced by I am sorry and a plead of forgiveness...most of the time, I think.

As super crazy as it sounds, I plan on homeschooling my kids.

My oldest boy's favorite color is purple and I really do not mind if his two favorite stuffed toys to sleep with are his My Pal Violet and Holly from Cars 2.

My oldest read, and I mean actually read, his first book before his third birthday. I have no intention of holding up his younger brother to such a standard.

I include my children in volunteer activities that I and my husband are involved in and instill the importance of giving to the less hopes that they will continue to do so for the rest of their lives.

I praise my kids and rejoice in their accomplishments.

The try hard to make the first words that my children hear from my mouth each morning are "Oh, I love you sooo much!", immediately followed by a hug and a kiss.

I am not ashamed to keep them entertained (in public) by a lunch sack puppet cat that my oldest named "Bowser".

I teach my children about Jesus and instruct them follow Him by example.

One of those examples is to not judge others and to love and treat others as they expect to be treated.

I remind myself to tell my boys that they are so special, that I am incredibly blessed to have them in my life, and that I wouldn't want to imagine my life without them...EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I TRULY believe that most parents do what they think is best for their children and that there many things that they do every day that qualifies them as good parents.

Yes, I also admit that my parenting style is quite hypocritical much of the time and may qualify me as a "crappy" mom since I do not fix into someone's perfect little box...but my children (for whom I would gladly give my life for) are indeed loved and will gladly tell you so.

This is me, I am a good parent...a fantastic parent...and so are you, even with our differences.

No two parents are alike, we are not perfect, but there is one thing that we could agree on...that we would do what we think is right for our children.

Feel free to leave your "crappy mom" confessions as a comment below...remember there are no judgments here, and hateful comments will be deleted ;-)

1 comment:

  1. I love this! I hate mommy wars. I avoid most all parenting boards for this specific reason. I don't like most moms. They are so judgmental and hurtful and catty. Why can't you just be supportive of everything we have in common, instead of tearing each other down and jumping down each others throats. When in all actuality, it's none of their business what you or I or anybody else does with their children, as long as they are loved and safe!
    Why on earth would you get horrible comments about hiking with your kids? I think that is awesome! We took our 10 month old on a camping trip, and intend to do so as often as possible. I think it's important for kids to be as connected to nature as possible. :-)
    My crappy mommy confession? I use disposables at night to avoid soaked pajamas and rashes from my super soaker. I feed him cheerios and cookies to keep him quiet in the store. And I sometimes holler at him a little when he's stared at the ceiling for two hours but won't go to sleep, but pitches a fit when I leave the room. And then feel like a bad mom. Oh, and sometimes Sesame Street is required to stave off the crankies. (Yes, TV before age 2, I know, I know.)
    Good for you to post this! You are a good mom!


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